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About Digital Art / Student LaLa/Volpe/Fox/Launce/SEXYMale/United States Groups :iconqualityfanart: QualityFanArt
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LaLaFoxtrot
LaLa/Volpe/Fox/Launce/SEXY
Artist | Student | Digital Art
United States
I live in California and I'm studying at The University of California at Davis under a design major.

:iconkuneria::iconlalafoxtrot:



The first tenant was never my best...


May the father of understanding guide you....




TEMPLARS!
Interests

I don't usually do this

Journal Entry: Thu Sep 11, 2014, 1:24 PM
trigger warning: cutting, self harm, depression, all those. if you don't wanna hear it, don't read this please.

But I don't know who else to tell. I don't have therapy again for another two weeks. 

I never understood self harm. Well, I understood it from a psychological perspective that it releases endorphins and some people do it in a way that is supposed to give them control on something in their life. There were plenty of reasons I read about and understood in a clinical kind of way. 

I kind of had my first bout of true understanding today. I didn't cut myself or harm myself. I gave a promise to all my friends I would never intentionally harm myself like that. But the thought actually crossed my mind. I am drowning in guilt over some things in my life right now. So much regret and guilt and sadness and grief. In the middle of it all, the thought of harming myself to rid myself of just some of the guilt. To know that I'm an animal underneath it all and that I can have something just lash me for it. The thought definitely crossed my mind. I even imagined it in my head, tried to imagine the release of some of my guilt through the flow of my blood. But I know me harming myself isn't helping anyone, especially not me. Now i'm just sitting here, slumped in my overwhelming...everything.

For anyone reading this. I promise you I'm in no imminent danger to myself, at least not physically. 

The anniversary of my father's passing is also coming up in a few more days. I am going to try my best not to get thrown off the edge. I'm not in a particularly good position right now but I know I will live and breathe at the end of it all.

I can't imagine that writing this out did any real lasting healing, but I feel slightly temporarily better..

  • Mood: Miserable
  • Eating: souls
  • Drinking: blood

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:iconkoponya:
koponya Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2015   Digital Artist
Eyy lalaa
I know you like Metal Gear, have you seen the newest trailer??
Reply
:iconlalafoxtrot:
LaLaFoxtrot Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2015  Student Digital Artist
No I haven't O: I shall go see it. The MES5 E3 trailer yeah? 

...


So much blood! And so beautiful...I like how much screen time your boyfriend got. xD

A shame all that drama with the company and Kojima. I hope the game doesn't go through too much more grief over what happened. 
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:iconeuphorics:
euphorics Featured By Owner May 5, 2015
IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY LAST MONTH WHAT. WHAT. WHAAAAAT
happy belated birthday, i hope it was a great one!!! it was nice finally talking to you today hoho \o/ 
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:iconlalafoxtrot:
LaLaFoxtrot Featured By Owner May 6, 2015  Student Digital Artist
YAS! AND THANK YOU!!!! 8DD

Yes u u u 

HOW HAVE WE NOT GEEKED OUT SOONER????
Reply
:iconeuphorics:
euphorics Featured By Owner May 9, 2015
om g LATE REPLY CRIES SORRY//

HOPE WE CAN GEEK OUT MORE UHUHUHUHU, only a couple weeks left!!! ;__; I'LL MISS UUUU
alsooo asKED A FRIEND about the svg thingy, idk if you already changed your mind/figured it out BUT APPARENTLY ALL YOU GOTTA DO is export as svg in illustrator, you don't have to draw it out point by point or anything!! SO GO FORTH AND DO YOUR GAMEEE (I MIGHT TOO if i can figure out the libraries omg)
Reply
:iconlalafoxtrot:
LaLaFoxtrot Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Oh gasp! I actually already finished my rework of an assignment... Havent uploaded it yet. Still wanna mess around with restyling it.

I also imported a sound effect library and it works pretty well. If you need help with libraries, I think I have it down.
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(1 Reply)
:iconcoppeh-and-paste:
Coppeh-and-Paste Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AYYYYY LALAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 8D i hope you have a good one! i spent most of the day away from the house so i didn't have the time to say this a lot earlier in the day :iconlazycryplz:
Reply
:iconlalafoxtrot:
LaLaFoxtrot Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015  Student Digital Artist
thank youuu!!!! 

aww, don't worry I appreciate the thought u w u
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:iconluner-tigher:
luner-tigher Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2015
happy B-day X3
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:iconlalafoxtrot:
LaLaFoxtrot Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thank youuuuu <3 <3 <3
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